A pub, somewhere

Serenaded quite beautifully

was she.

By the glowing warblings

and righteous pitter-patter

of a drunkards tongue.

His words licking her face

and tickling her chin

leaving a repugnant layer of cajolery

across her fair skin.

Whilst arousing an eruption of scarlet from within her cheeks.

A few inaudible mumblings from her mouth

chimed with the odd childlike simper across her lips

disguised her appetite for more quite well.

A hidden sense of gratification sweltered in her belly

Bubbling upward

Pushing outward

Salty globules dotted across her forehead (on which her hair was now plastered and moist)

causing her elbow to ache from the constant

dab dab dabbing

she was do do do-ing.

She felt warm on the inside

sticky on the out.

His unwavering stare chased down her squeamish eyes

as they danced around the room

refusing to be locked.

Evading engagement

WHEN

suddenly they met in the middle

for about 3 seconds.

His brazen and twitching

Hers timid and quavering

Fixed

Strained

until hers dropped southward

to the floor

making way for the routine smirk

and uncertain fidget

that had started to annoy

both him AND her.

When will he stop she thought?

When will she start he thunked?

Drunked

Both questions left unanswered

hovered in the air

and over their heads

like two HUGE clouds
or two tiny insects with wings.

Little did they know

(the humans that is, not the insects)

that he’d never stop

and she’d never start

and this excruciatingly painful exchange

would last 4eva……………

Degenerate

He swears too much.

Fuck me fuck you fuck this fuck that.

He shouts unnecessarily.

He gets drunk and abuses the people he apparently loves.

He kicks and screams and spits out mean observations of people.

People he doesn’t know.

People who apparently love him.

He takes and doesn’t give but started taking his kids to the bookies when they were young to familiarize them with one of things he definitely does love.

Now they’re old enough to sign on they stand next to him every day egging on horses like Drop Dead Gorgeous in races like the 3.45 at Epsom.

Unbeknownst to them it was all part of his master plan to ‘egg on’ his gambling addiction.

The more of him there is, the better chance there is of him winning.

He takes their winnings and loses them.

Does he care?

In his words ‘Does he fuck.’

They’re young and stupid.

He’s old and wise.

He coughs and splutters and doesn’t cover his mouth.

He doesn’t brush his teeth so little remnants of the dinner he demands on the table at 5oclock every day spray like mushy bullets onto whoever has the misfortune of standing in front of him when he shouts.

His favourite thing to shout at people is ‘nob head.’

Even the cat and dog get called it.

He’s used the phrase so much that he expects people who know him to respond to it as if it actually was their name.

He also likes the words ‘cunt’ and ‘daft’.

Can you believe he has a wife?

Sometimes she can’t but she puts up with him.

He puts her down.

Down the road from his house is the pub he calls home.

Next door is the brothel he calls bed where quite often he falls asleep in his clothes.

He doesn’t care if he wears the same underwear for 3 days in a row.

He hasn’t put a dirty pair on so they’re still fresh in his eyes.

Although in other peoples noses they aren’t.

His nose resembles a chewed up turnip

Battered and mauled

All purple and throttled and beaten to a pulp

His eyes

Two holes

If you get close enough without hearing his favourite words you can see through the holes, into his skull and deep into his thoughtssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshistshit

M.E

It started with a kiss

Although I don’t like to think about that

Because it’s my parents we’re talking about here

About 10 or so years after their first kiss

I arrived

On the same day and in the same year as Prince William

Three minutes before

Or three minutes after

I can never remember

For my efforts, or should I say my mothers

I received a leg of lamb, a pram and my name in the local newspaper

FAME

I hope that wasn’t my 15 minutes

I don’t even remember it

Anyway

I learnt to walk, talk and spell my name

As you do

And did the whole school thing

As you do

At some point during this time I discovered Nirvana

The band

Not the state of mind

And sported Curtains

I liked sport, especially football

But that got kicked into touch when I went to university

And discovered more important things

Like ‘studying’

And socializing

And turning my words into short stories

One day Don’t Panic published a short story I’d written

They’re a global marketing company so I was a bit chuffed

I haven’t looked back

But moved back home after university

Where I got my first proper job

And my first paycheck for doing something I rather enjoyed

Communicating

I also enjoyed visiting London so when my hometown started to feel a bit small

I stayed in London a bit longer

About 5 years longer to be precise

And counting

During that time I’ve pursued my passion for communicating

By shouting a lot

Not really

It’s been achieved through various jobs

As a Journalist

Online Editor

Communications Officer

And most recently as a Copywriter

I’ve written for a bunch of international magazines

On subjects like art and music

And interviewed people like Rachel Whiteread and Fleet Foxes

I’ve also written for various brands and helped develop various campaigns

STA Travel and Southern Comfort amongst others

My other interests include writing and performing music

My band’s called GLuE

I have two blogs and am quite sociable in terms of the media I use

To sum up

I’m a creative writer with substantial experience in both Journalism and Copywriting looking for my next step

I’ve a positive attitude

Good attention to detail

Am hungry to improve and develop

Have the ability to be creative and flexible

And am extremely interested in doing so for you

death blow (job)

imposing a coldness only the frozen can blow

an axe wielding housewife deals in sex for your bones

pretty in pink, luscious lips and blue eyes

her sensual smile hides her fatal disguise

well hello there my prince how do you do?

come let me play doctors and nurses with you

unsuspectingly her prey replies with a grin

a nod and a wink as he struts into sin

and straight up the stairs where she slips off her blouse

arousing her passion

she’s the beast of downtown

she’ll whisper sweet nothings but bay for your blood

enjoy your last ride as it ends with a thud

laced with a poisonous appeal her bedsheets are black

her love holds you tightly whilst her axe carves your back

whilst on the days she forgets her knives

she’ll squeeze out your life between her cleavage or thighs

not a bad way to go or so you might think

but how awful it must be to be left on the brink

of a gushing of passion in an erotic throe

your pride on the floor set free with a groan

covered in lipstick it’s then you realise

the lustful last stare and her final surprise

the half price personihilaters

Expectantly expectant
Yet woefully unprepared
Blinded by an obvious truth
Yet blissfully aware
Sitting duck
Welcome plum
casting out a drum rolled stare

ground yourself
surround your reach
with cotton, hope and memories
the future tales of men who’ve been
the knowing calm of dreams you’ve breathed

dont look upon the next man
to unveil your minds eye
ask the person you know best
the chest that holds the crown

the hands you hold
the tongue that told
the brow that bends
the frowns that sound
like tiny shattered baubels filled with laughing gas
like freshly cut nostalgia
a degenerating van der graff
salted peanuts, sticky fingers, docile fashionistas
the inner swingers, outer swayers
the half price personihilaters

a hopeless stare reaching out
Through a cloud
beyond the drought
wavering through a puff of grey
lies purple dazzled hazy eyes
barely half awake

‘to attention’ something distant shouts
a childhood bygone
a gawping mouth
twelve broken bones
A perspex sphere
a tumbled weed blown o so near

The Kid

Drawn to the saddle and the weather torn road

The Kid was due east

Beyond the point the land kissed the sky

Under and over and around

With a flick of his leather

And a kick of a boot

He said his goodbyes

He wore his best suit

He checked for the hour and adjusted his hat

Waving his mama away

Torn between his mistress and a young baby son

The smell of cold money and a life by the gun

into the distance he raced with his pack

The wind in his face

Loving eyes on his back

Full of a youthful courage he led

A group of young chancers who’d rather be dead

Than a life down the pit or an age in the field

They lived for the dollar and for this they did wield

A shooter for every finger they had

The gang was 4 strong and each had both hands

Including their thumbs they packed quite a blow

Especially as they kept a knife for each toe

They hunted and robbed but never did rape

Not savage like the natives they shot down with hate

‘scuse me fine sir but do you know the way

to the bank for I need to withdraw right away

The kid entered slowly and held a wry smile

Winked at a child staring God in the eye

Whilst charming the beauty behind the desk

The Kid placed his gun underneath her left breast

Now maam im so sorry I wont bring you no harm

As long as you sit here and don’t raise the alarm

Now fill this here bag with all you have got

Do it with grace and no one will get shot

The fine lady obliged and gave The Kid all he wanted

She rushed with excitement and blushed as he towered

Above her she felt a warm kind of glow

She almost felt faint as he left through the door

His pack were all waiting not making a sound

The Kid stood in silence

pointing the way to the next lonely town

Onward we march boys The Kid hollered loud

We aint going to stop till we make mama proud

The end.

she came she saw i did one

She came at me with intent

She wanted my lips

She wanted them then and there

Both of them

Top

and bottom

Right then

Right there

No small talk

No flirting

No amorous banter

Just a crooked lunge

A hit and hope

A stab in the dark

Ow!

Don’t get me wrong

I’m all up for a bit of passion from the hip

a bit of rum she bean an that

But on this occasion

I wasn’t

Why?

because on this occasion the advances were being made

by what looked like a frantic invalid

A wacko banshee

A madcap muttonhead

frothing at the mouth

and grasping for her alarm cord

Had she lost her false teeth??

the only alarm ringing though

was in my head

it was screaming

RETREAT

RETREAT

RETREAT

So I did

But I also know that the bad lights and free flowing alcohol

Were to blame for my enthusiasts unfavourable state

so i don't bear any grudges

We’ve all been there

Haven’t we?

Same old story

Everything and everyone around me is in colour

Apparently it’s been like that for ages

I just had to look a little closer

Stop gazing through actuality

but stare at it square in the eyes

At first I wasn’t even aware it existed

Wasn’t bothered

I was content with the monochrome landscapes

uninterrupted dullness

and uniform façade I had grown accustomed to over the years

But now I am aware and it’s becoming clearer by the hour

Even by the minute

It’s happening right now actually

The increasing emergence of it

Its evolution

This wasn’t something I just picked up straight away though

It took a while to adjust

Squinting helped at first but now it’s just there

All the time

In my face

On my face

And every other face

Oozing in and out of nowhere

Hovering above and underneath everything

resting atop of some peoples heads like a hat

Or exotic bird

It’s dripping from fingers

Congealing around toes

It even came out of someones ear earlier

Sounds too much but really it isn’t

It’s quite beautiful

I recommend it

Everlasting puddles of colour just appear out of nowhere

Immerse their destination in a colossal splash

And then just evaporate

Disappearing in a flicker

Gone

Until the next one rolls up

Immediately after the last

More intense and concentrated

Fiercer

More powerful

Ready to illuminate the eye and brighten the mind

Again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

AND AGAIN

Shit it’s doing my head in now

When will it stop

I can’t even close my eyes without it happening

ARGHHHHHHH

Fuck colour

Its boring me now

I want to go to sleep

jayson musson - porn and cartoons......

if only i'd come across this guy when i was 12......

speak up bad man....

“I am very much interested in the world and the unacceptable incapability of so called cultivated human beings, who have amazing and strange minds to create amazing things but who then fuck up everything in an even more amazing way”

- tjorg douglas beer - guy who has created sick pop up art gallery in berlin called the forgotten bar - different exhibition a night and a sweet vodka tonic and cucumber - apparently..